My first Spanish wine-tasting leaves me just as uncultured as before

Last week, I had my first wine tasting experience. I have what could only be termed “extremely limited” experience with Spanish wine. In fact, if you know me you'll know that I usually run toward whatever’s cheapest and mixes best with Fanta Limón or Cranberry Juice.

Last Wednesday, however, I decided to class it up a bit and attend a bona fide Spanish wine tasting class, which was both awesome and absurd. I’m not sure my taste has improved, but I’ll probably be able to out-snob someone at a dinner party. That’s really all that matters, right?

If you’d like to impress your friends/Mom/coworker with your knowledge of Spanish wine, here are some fun facts:

- Spain has more vineyards than any country in the world and is the third wine producer after France and Italy.
- Spain boasts the market’s best value wines, a.k.a. cheap stuff that is still delicious.
- When you order a Spanish wine, you do it by region, not by type … except for cava, which is apparently cava everywhere.
- Rioja and Rueda are two of the most famous regions traditionally, but Bierzo and Priorat are trendy now.
- The Spanish government regulates wine-making and labeling pretty carefully. .

… and here are the wines we tried, complete with price in euros and my super-informed commentary:

Cava — Brut Imperial Gran Reserva Brut 2006 (Cataluna, 15) — Spanish champagne. The best.
White – Shaya Old Vine Verdejo 2006 (Rueda, 8 ) — Pretty good.
White – DV Chardonnay 2008 (Sierras de Malaga, 15) — Likewise pretty good, not sure why it’s twice the cost of the other one.
Red – Cantos de Valpiedra 2006 (Rioja, 5) — The “softest, fruitiest” red, according to our instructor. “
Red – Cepas Viejas 2006 (Bierzo, 12) — Loved it.
Red – Camins del Priorat 2007 (Priorat, 10) — And again.
Red – Valtosca 2007 (Jumilla, 17) — This was a step down, but OK.
Red – Bodegas Cuevas Jiminez (Ribera del Duero, 23) — This was only drinkable because I’d consumed seven glasses of wine already.

Please note that, true to form, my favorite red was the dead cheapest bottle of the bunch. Some things never change, my friends – even if I am holding the glass correctly, swirling it several times and making highbrow comments about “mineral flavors” and “fruity tones.”